Funny Joke for Us Older Models Recovery From Hip Replacement
I just had hip replacement surgery
It's a really new procedure; you've probably never heard of it.
I got told off for masturbating at the gun range.
We had very different interpretations of shooting from the hip.
Who is the coolest doctor in the hospital?
The hip doctor.
So, a stutterer was a wedding
He stand's up and says:
-hip, hip
And then everyone on the wedding party said with their glasses raised:
-HURRAY
The stutterer, tried again, but louder
-HIP!! HIP!!
Everyone raised their glasses again and shouted out of their lungs!
-HUURRAAAAY!!!!!
The stutterer, again, yelled with both arms raised!!
-HIIPPPP !! HIPPP!!!
Everyone on the party became one, all the happiness expressed with one single shout!
-HURRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!
But then, everyone was killed by a herd of ~~hippopotamus~~ Hippopotamuses
How did the programmer celebrate his birthday?
var celebration = ["Hip", "Hip"];
[ Hip , Hip ]
Hip hip array
My grandma just walked into my room with a young barista wearing thick rimmed glasses.
I said, Who is that?
Grandma: That's my hip replacement.
Why is hip hop popular among urban youth?
because it's the only time a black man can tell a crowd of white people to put their hands in the air.
My grandpa just walked into the room with a young man wearing skinny jeans and a beard.
I said, Who is this, grandpa?
Grandpa: He's my hip replacement.
Who's the coolest man in the hospital?
The hip replacement guy.
My Hip Hop name is DJ Green Onion.
But you can call me Rapscallion.
You can explore hip jah reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean hip thigh dad jokes. There are also hip puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Who's the coolest guy at the hospital?
- The Ultra Sound guy
*Bonus*
Who covers for him when he isn't there?
- The Hip Replacement guy
I heard the woman in the apartment next door having sex last night
She was moaning and groaning and they were thumping against the wall.
Turns out her mother had fallen and broken her hip and was hitting the wall with her cane for help.
Now I feel sorta bad for masturbating so many times.
Why was Dre's grandma so happy when she found out his career choice?
Because there was finally a Doctor in the family who could perform her hip op.
I saw your post about the prostate exam and ease you this.
When you're getting your prostate exam, make sure the doctor only has ONE hand on your hip...
A Dog Walks Into Bar...
A dog walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "We don't serve dogs in here," pulls out a pistol and shoots the dog in a hind paw. The dog hops yelping out of the bar.
The next day the dog walks back into the bar with a huge bandage on his hind foot. He's wearing a ten-gallon hat and has a six-gun on each hip.
He looks at everyone in the bar and says...
"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
How do old people become cool again?
Hip replacements!
Who's the coolest guy at the hospital?
The ultra sound guy.
Who's the coolest guy when he's not around?
The hip replacement guy.
A programmer won a contest....
... by getting the 0th position. Hip hip Array!!
(Happy new year everyone!)
What does an aging Sith lord with a bad hip use to get around?
An Imperial Walker
Who takes over when the Ultrasound man is on leave?
The Hip Replacement Guy.
After experiencing weeks of pain, a man finally decides to go to the hospital...
The doctor says, "What seems to be the problem?"
The man replies, "It hurts here (touches his thigh), it hurts here (touches his wrist), it hurts here (touches his hip). It hurts everywhere!"
After a few seconds of examining the patient, the doctor realizes whats wrong with the man.
The doctor grabs his hand and says, "Sir, you have a broken finger."
I'm so hip...
I'm practically a pelvis!
A propper pirate walks into a bar, wearing his pirate hat, eye patch, old guns by his hip, of course also a hook and all these kind of things. The barmaid asks him:
What the hell happened to you?! Why do you have a hook?! He replies: „Ah well its just one of these war stories, you know.. lost my hand in a fight.
„Wow! And how did you get the eye patch? sais she.
„Oh, that is because seagull shit into my eye there once.
The barmaid responds: „What?! But nobody loses his eyesight from this?!
„Yes that is true.. answers the pirate, „..but at that point I only had the hook since 3 days.
Why is anger the new hip emotion?
It's all the rage.
So many people try to be hip
To me it is kind of a waist
A propper pirate walks into a bar, wearing his pirate hat, eye patch, old guns by his hip, of course also a hook and all these kind of things. The barmaid asks him:
What the hell happened to you?! Why do you have a hook?! He replies: „Ah well its just one of these war stories, you know.. lost my hand in a fight.
„Wow! And how did you get the eye patch? sais she.
„Oh, that is because seagull shit into my eye there once.
The barmaid responds: „What?! But nobody loses his eyesight from this?!
„Yes that is true.. answers the pirate, „..but at that point I only had the hook since 3 days.
What did the femur say to the pelvis?
Well, this is a hip joint!.
You heard about the green onion who started a hip hop career?
He was a real rapscallion.
What does the Easter Bunny listen to while hiding eggs?
Hip hop.
Two med students are walking down the street...
When they see an older gentleman limping in front of them. Every time he took a step his right foot would shake.
"I bet it is a degenerative nerve damage issue" says the first one.
"It looks more like a hip joint issue" says the second.
They argue for a while and then decide to ask the man what his problem is.
The gentleman listens to them and then he says:
"I thought it was only a fart"
Medical question?
My dad said he is going in for a hip replacement........is he having surgery or am I getting a cool new dad?
In 1973, the Six Million Dollar Man consisted of a bionic man with super powers...
In 2016, the Six Million Dollar Man consists of two hip replacements.
A man hobbles into a McDonald's
A man hobbles into a McDonald's and walks up to the counter.
He proceeds to place his order of 1 hot fudge sundae.
The cashier asks him "Crushed nuts?".
"No." He says, "Hip replacement".
I just got hip surgery
You've probably never heard of it
Oh man, I just heard my favorite Rock Star was in an accident and lost his entire left leg!
At least he isn't retiring from music though, just switching to Hip Hop.
What do call a Hip Hop group that consists of furries?
The Uwu-Tang Clan.
What do you call the nicest doctor in the hospital?
The ultra sound guy...
Who covers him when he's not available?....
The hip replacement guy
What music to kangaroos like??
Hip hop!!!!
My grandma got a hip replacement
My new grandma is a 24 year old barista and an aspiring artist.
I grew up listening to music that demeaned women, glorified violence and normalized criminal behavior. I know it definitely influenced the culture around me.
Thankfully, I stopped listening to country music and found hip hop.
A doctor and a lawyer met with an accident....
A doctor and a lawyer in 2 cars collide on a country road.
The lawyer seeing that the doctor was a little shaken up, helps him from the car and offers him a drink from his hip flask.
The doctor accepts and has a couple of generous sips and hands it back to the lawyer, who closes it and puts it away.
"Aren't you going to have a drink yourself?" asks the doctor.
"Sure, after the police leave."
What's the most musical animal?
A hip hopopotamus
A teenage girl came across an old man sitting next to his radio, tapping his cane in time to a Lil Wayne song.
"Holy crap! I didn't know you'd like rap music?!"
"I didn't, either," the old man replied. "It all started after my hip op".
What do you call a furry hip hop group?
the uwu-tang clan
What do you call trendy internal prosthetics?
Hip implants
A dog walks into a saloon
All the patrons go quiet as they look at the dog who's wearing spurs and a cowboy hat, with a gun on his hip.
The bartender says, now listen here partner, we don't want any trouble. What's your business?
The dog lets out a faint growl, lifts up his front right leg and replies, I'm looking for the man who shot my pa .
What STD does a hip black man get?
Kool-AIDs
Why did the skeleton go to the club?
He heard it was a hip joint. [oc, Connor, never tell anyone my username]
What type of music does the Easter Bunny like?
Hip Hop.
I got fired from my job at the bank. An elderly lady came in and asked me to check her balance
One broken hip later and I'm unemployed.
Where do skeletons go for a fun night out?
Anywhere as long as it's a hip joint!
A bar which does hip replacement operations recently opened near to me,
Critics are saying its the new hip place to be.
The Night's Watch can ramp up the number of new recruits by...
...ditching its archaic name in favour of something hip like Snow Patrol.
What do you call Jay-Z having a leg transplant?
A hip-hop hip op.
What's a frog's favorite type of music?
Hip hop
Who's the coolest guy in the hospital?
You'd think it's the hip replacement surgeon, but it's actually the ultra-sound guy...
What do you call a hip French black guy?
Látrill
Why does Huey Lewis like raising things to the second power?
Because it's hip to be squared
I saw my dad icing his hip today and asked him what was wrong...
He said "Nothing, I've just always wanted to be a cool hip dad"
Why are organic farmers the best hip hop artists?
Because they make the best beets.
Why did all the residents of Flint, MI switch from the hip hop station to the classic rock radio station?
They wanted to get the lead out.
What did the old zombie dog say when she got a birthday bone?
*My hip!*
Who is the coolest guy at the hospital?
The ultra sound guy.
And who covers when hes off sick?
The hip replacement guy.
Did you hear the one about the Jewish baby?
Well.. he wasn't ACTUALLY Jewish, but at birth, he was accidentally sewn together at the hip with his mother.
Dr Dre may not be a real medic...
...but he has performed hundreds of hip hop orations.
Even though I went mainstream for dinner I still got some trendy fish...
Thanks to my hip waiters
Three cheers for obese people! Hip hip...
...problems
What's the different between a confident soldier and a warning helmsman?
One shoots from the hip and the other hoots from the ship.
I was trying to promote heavy policing in urban areas with a hip new logo you can post around your neighborhood...
"S.W.A.T. Stickas" didn't go over too well...
Three cheers for rap music.
Hip Hop...
Source: https://jokojokes.com/hip-jokes.html
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